An Unworthy Challenger

Well, Dear Readers, this isn't the first time. One stakes out a swath of cyberspace, makes a home on the range of it, and the freeloaders appear. We just received an e-mail from a friend of ours declaring his intention to challenge Science Man to a "poem-off" for the title of Poet Laureate of blue skies forever. (Nevermind that this is an honor bestowed upon Science Man for his lifetime of achievement in poesy; not a cheap party favor to be given willy-nilly to every young punk who beats his chest after he can't quite get the gig at Hallmark.) Mr. "Ron Dejais" claimed not to know that Science Man, in low spirits, had left Berlin to meet Pinto in Thailand. A disloyal reader, or a disingenous challenger?

Now normally, we would not publish such gibberish, especially when the author insists on using a nomme de plume. However, because the challenger is our friend; because he is the only person we know who has been upperdecked; because we are fairly certain that one of our classmates micturated in a pair of his mother's Keds when we were in high school; because he still carries the baggage of having been second chair tenor saxophone in the Blanchet High School Jazz Band, while his rival, Matt S. (of Hot Atmosphere and Das Booty fame), was first; because we may have participated in a ruse to convince his parents that he owed hundreds of dollars in lap dance fees at a local strip club (resulting in his father showing up at the club and declaring his intention to pay off the young derelict's debts); because we are nothing if not generous, we shall publish his challenge. Take note, "Ron Dejais"--this does not mean your challenge has in any way been sanctioned. It has merely been published.

Finally, Science Man, do not fret. Follow your heart and know that your place of honor at blue skies forever is forever secure.

Dear Readers, we are sorry for what we are about to do. Hence, we shall give you a few links with which to amuse yourselves. We suggest you visit them rather than read the challenger's execrable poem.

Recent father O-Dub is once more posting at his juggernaut of an audioblog, Soul Sides. Recommended: Sam Cooke's cover of Smoke Rings, posted yesterday.

Let it never be said that Saddam stopped loving his people.

A.C. credits these CD's for his catastrophic success with the ladies.

One's time would be better spent doing this than reading the challenger's poem.




The challenge:

The Sun Shines upon Thee

Across near and far...
I walk this earth...
Looking for a poem...
A Story...A Verse...

In the Forest...
The Trees...
The Bees...
And the Seas...
Hover above...forming an umbrella…
That completely surrounds me...

I see in the distance...
A big orange glow...
What is that...I ask...
As I look far below...
No…look up above...
See the Light of Love...

Toward the clouds I did rise...
Up into the sky...
Forever shall it shine...
Upon you and I...

And if it does not...
And our flame becomes dark...
The world will crumble...
Away it will wash...

Out to sea…we shall be...
Forever you see...
We’ll search for the light...
Although now day is night...
And we’ll fight for the right...
To have the sun shine bright.

Ron Dejais